The Worm in Hawaii Part 2!

Part 2: Timmy Goes Surfing

Now let me preface this little article with a bit of Timmy trivia: this worm has been longing to ride a wave since the day it was hatched. I’ve seen dogs and bunnies go surfing, and even a lame little ferret, so don’t tell me it can’t be done.

And thus, we have the mission of the day: Timmy must get on a board and ride.

But first I had to find someone to teach me.

The first time I brought the subject up with my surfer friend (henceforth to be known as Surfer Dave), he almost choked on his spam musubi (a Hawaiian food specialty that’s kind of like sushi, but with, well, spam).

He just wasn’t comfortable with the thought of a legless, armless, boneless animal trying to balance on a board, in dangerous, completely drown-able waters. Waters, he pointed out, that are choc-full of hungry, predatory fish which are well-known for chomping down on members of the said legless, armless, boneless animal’s family. “And I haven’t even mentioned the seagulls,” he warned. “Those birds will sink their little beaks into you and never let go,” he continued, perhaps just a little too graphically.

Well, maybe he had a point.

But I had a dream, boys and girls. I had a dream. And this worm always goes for his dreams. (Umm, generally speaking.)

So after much debating and cajoling (subtly interspersed with bribery and thinly-veiled threats) surfer friend finally relented. He wasn’t going to teach me himself – he didn’t want that on his conscience, he says – but he did begin hitting up everyone he knew in the area, telling them that a strange but determined little invertebrate really wanted to ride the waves.

And that was why, a couple of hours later, just after a scrumptious lunch of sweet shrimp at Macky’s, a roadside Kahuku Shrimp Truck Stall on the Kamehameha Highway, Surfer Dave was driving us to the North Shore for my first-ever surfing lesson. And man, was I pumped. The swells were gorgeous, the sun was shining, and the sea was as blue as a dream. I jumped out of the car as soon as we got to Sunset Beach, and Surfer Dave introduced me to one of his buddies, Surfer Dan. Surfer Dan gave me one of those assessing looks and asked me if I could swim. I’m not really a marine worm but I figured I could probably wiggle my way from Point A to Point B, so I told him, yeah, no problem. He gave me a child-sized board, tied the ankle strap around my … errr… around me, and demonstrated the intricacies of “popping up” on a board, while still on sand. Then we were off! (Well, sort off. I don’t have arms to paddle, so Surfer Dan basically towed me to where the swells were.)

And you know what? I was a natural! After five tries, I finally managed to pop up and work my way to a decent, semi-standing position. After half an hour, I was riding those waves like a spineless Kelly Slater. Man, I rock.

Yes, I’m about $150 poorer (Surfer Dan jacks up the price for unusual cases – and no, Travelworm’s not reimbursing me for that as it was a “personal excursion”), and I nearly drowned a couple of times, but who cares? I lived out a dream, boys and girls. For one brief shining moment, I was a worm on the surf. And it was absolute heaven.

Tired but exhilarated after debuting my impressive board skills, Surfer Dave and I agreed that it was time for a snack. We spied the famous Matsumoto shop as we drove out of Sunset Beach, and we quickly made a turn into a public parking lot so we could sample some of that Hawaiian Shave Ice that everybody was talking about. (Oh yes, it’s “shave” not “shaved” – I asked.)

Basically, what you get is a sizable paper cone which they fill with very finely shaved ice. That’s VERY FINELY shaved ice, people, not chopped or crushed ice. Believe me, it makes all the difference in the world. Soft and yielding, Shave Ice is a creamy confection of tropical (artificial?) flavorings punctuated with an optional helping of red azuki beans. Don’t forget to go for the extra scoop of ice cream. I swear, it’s so good, you won’t even notice the mess dripping on your shirt as the flimsy paper cone disintegrates with every icy lick of your tongue.

Sticky and satiated, Surfer Dan and I looked at each other with smug satisfaction. Nothing, and I mean nothing, beats a tropical vacation you didn’t even pay for.

Thank you, Travelworm. I love this job.

 

 

Up Next: Wrapping Up

The Worm in Hawaii!

Part 1: Hotel and Waikiki Beach

And guess who scored an awesome deal last weekend?

It all started when I got a call from the people over at TravelWorm to tell me that they were giving me an incredible break – a 4 day trip to Honolulu in the island of Oahu, Hawaii. However, they would need me to leave the very next day. Would I be able to do it? That’s like asking me if I’m a soft-bodied invertebrate! Oh hell yeah!

And so, 28 hours, a short stopover at LAX, and a small piece of rolling luggage later, I found myself at the Honolulu International airport, where I proceeded to board a specially equipped, worm-modified, personal vehicle (read: bribed a surfer friend to drive me around as the DMV is still harboring a bias against us worms – down with the DMV!)

By the way, I absolutely RECOMMEND that you rent a car when you head to Hawaii. It is the single best way to really see the whole island – and it also means you won’t be stranded in tourist-packed Waikiki Beach for your whole vacation or * shudder* be utterly dependent on tourist buses to see the sights. (Be a Traveler, not a Tourist!) I was a bit too cheap to get a car with a GPS (hey TravelWorm, when do I get an expense account?), so my friend and I did the navigating old school style – with an honest to goodness map. It was okay though, because Honolulu isn’t all that difficult to move around in. It’s part of a tiny island after all.

It was already dark by the time we landed in Honolulu. We drove through a bit of the city and took in the sights and sounds along the way. The nightlife near Waikiki seemed pretty hot. We saw a few fire and hula dancers doing their thing by the beach, and we noticed a few cool kitschy dive bars (with lots of surfboards propped by the door), a good number of hotel clubs full of skimpily dressed tourists, and lots of beachside bacchanalia going on. There were also a few holes in the wall that really looked intriguing.

Finally, we dropped our car with the valet at the gorgeous and very regal Moana Surfrider hotel, which is right by the beach. Someone was already waiting for us with leis and glasses of guava juice – just the thing after a relatively long flight. We breezed through check-in in a matter of minutes, and then we went up to our room, which was on the 17^th floor, in the Tower Wing. And I have to tell you, the room was spectacular! We even got a nice lanai (balcony) with an absolutely stunning view of the beach.

The room also came with an empty fridge, which was ideal because then my friend and I could stock up on stuff that we wanted from the ubiquitous ABC stores that littered the island without having to worry about exorbitant mini-bar fees. And the building also has a very nice, very distinctive white porch, which is absolutely perfect for people watching. With a nice drink in hand, that would be a stress-free way to spend a lazy afternoon. And I have to say, the service was impeccable. Moana Surfrider’s a bit pricey, I admit, but so worth it if you’ve got the cash. Oh Travelworm, how do I adore thee…

My stay at the Moana Surfrider included a free luau for two – Travelworm promotion, yippee – at the hotel next door, The Royal Hawaiian Hotel, so that’s what we did for dinner. It was a feast under the stars and it was a blast. We tried some poke (lightly marinated raw ahi tuna, kinda like a Hawaiian sashimi or an exotic and underdone ceviche), lomi-lomi salmon, some poi (made from taro, if I understood the server correctly), and yes, the traditional kalua pig.

We woke up to a beautiful day the next morning, and a quick peek at the ocean through our lanai revealed that it was already full of surfers. I woke my friend and he decided not to eat breakfast at the hotel, so we went out to explore the Waikiki streets.

We discovered the International Marketplace just across the street from us, which sold all sorts of knickknacks and edible goods. “Tourist trap”, my wise companion said dismissively, so we walked a little bit more. And then we spotted an unassuming, slightly grubby, but ultimately packed place called L&L Barbecue. We scanned the menu as well as the interiors, and I think it’s safe to say that the place was full of surfing locals – the boards propped outside and on the walls were a definite giveaway.

The typical meal at L&L is like this: 2 scoops of rice, a side of macaroni salad, and an entrée. All for under 8 bucks. Nice. So I hunkered down to my pork barbecue while the companion wolfed down his seafood platter. This may not be gourmet food, but it sure hit the spot!

Now well-nourished, we headed back to beach to observe. The cursory glance we gave the place the previous night definitely had not done this place justice. It was absolutely amazing! Golden sand, turquoise sea, toned young hotties (yes, worms and humans alike!), and gentle swells. Paradise, my friends. Travelworm has finally sent me to paradise.

 

Up Next: Part 2 – The North Shore and Timmy Goes Surfing